


Tortuga

by MrProphet



Category: Firefly
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 14:45:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10699185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrProphet/pseuds/MrProphet





	1. In a Storm

Mal Reynolds stumbled into the cockpit of the Firefly-class cargo ship  _Serenity_ , trying not to let the smell of burning circuitry panic him. "Wash, what the Hell are you doing to my ship?"

"Oh, just flying her on manual, Captain," Wash replied. "All the automatics got wiped out by the solar storm."

"What solar storm?"

"The one that wiped out the automatics."

"And the air recycling plant," Zoe added, tripping through the door. "Kaylee says we've got three hours more than the length of time Jayne can keep cranking the pumps by hand."

"So... what are we doing about it?"

"For now we're worrying," Zoe replied. Kaylee's trying something crazy with the shuttles' scrubbers; when that doesn't work, we'll move on to panicking."

"The last refuge of the well-informed," Wash chuckled.

Mal leaped into the co-pilot's seat. "Well, we need a little refuge ourselves now," he said. "What's the nearest planet?"

"No planets nearby," Wash assured him.

"The nearest station then?"

"Can Jayne keep turning for fifteen hours?"

"If you're going to keep telling me we're dead, would you please stop smiling at me?" Mal asked.

"Oh, we're not dead," Wash assured the captain as a panel over their heads started to belch thick, white smoke. "No; it's much worse than that. Only thing half close enough is Tortuga."

"Then... we are dead?" Mal asked.

Wash glanced over to him. "No. We can dock at Tortuga."

"Then... we're dead?"

"Well, yeah," Wash laughed, "except that you have that friend... those friends... in Tortuga. The friends that you told us about, who owe you?"

Mal looked appalled. " _That_  story you chose to believe?" He shook his head. "Zoe; get the Tamms hidden and tell Jayne to look his most surly. Then get your husband to dress in something less floral. We want to walk into Tortuga looking casual; not...flippant." He jumped up and hurried out.

Wash looked up at his wife. "Does this shirt look flippant to you?"

Zoe kissed the top of his head. "No, honey. He was being polite."


	2. Any Port

Mal Reynolds watched with a grim expression as the tiny dot grew in the centre of  _Serenity_ 's main screen. "Tortuga," he said.

Zoe nodded. "The meanest den of filth I ever set eyes on and never wanted to set foot on again. Remind me why we're going there now?"

"Because the O2 levels on this ship would barely keep a mouse alive and there's nowhere else we can reach?" Wash suggested.

"And remind me why we're going there? Seriously, sweetie; there are worse fates than asphyxiation."

"We'll be all right, though? The Captain has his friends there and they're actually going to kill us, aren't they?" he realised.

Mal shrugged. "Happen as they might have a less rosy recollection of the old days than I have," he admitted. "As I remember it though, weren't me that started it."

"It never is," Zoe noted. "Not as you remember it."

"We ain't here to debate my shortcomings as a material witness," Mal reminded her. "We're here for air scrubbers and to get minimal automatics back online. Jayne..."

"Oh, I know what  _I'm_  here for," Jayne leered.

Mal turned to face the big fighter. "You're here to keep an eye on Kaylee while she gets the parts we need," he said firmly. "No sightseeing, no drinking and no whoring. We leave when we're ready; you ain't with us, we leave you behind."

"Make that sound like a bad thing," Jayne grunted.

"You planning on taking  _all_  your guns with you?"

"Gorrammit! You wouldn't!"

"Ain't waiting, ain't stopping to unload. Get in, get the parts and get out, and whatever you do, don't mention my name to anybody. Anyone asks, Zoe's the captain of this boat and I'm a leper named Ted."

Zoe chuckled. "I knew my day would come."

Jayne looked confused. "Why Ted?"

"Because Ted ain't a name I ever used before," Mal replied.

Ahead, Tortuga loomed larger, a mass of gantries and prefabricated units sprawling out from a huge, twisted mass of broken spaceship hull.

"Kinda... eerie, ain't it," Jayne observed. 

"The  _ISS Tortuga_ ," Wash sighed. "The last evacuation vessel to leave Earth-That-Was. The one that never made it. They literally do not make them like that anymore."

Jayne leaned forward. "Sends a shiver down your spine."

"Never took you for a history buff."

Jayne shot Wash a disgusted look. "I'm talking about the value. A spaceship bigger'n anything in the Alliance fleet's gotta be worth a fair bit, even busted up."

"Oh, you hopeless romantic," Zoe drawled.

"Did you secure the Tams?" Mal asked.

"Yep," Jayne affirmed.

"Then..." Mal paused. "Jayne; did you tie them up?"

"Yep. Had to sedate the girl first of course..."

"I'll go and untie them," Zoe sighed.

"No time," Mal replied. "They'll just have to sweat it out in the hatch." He wrapped a scarf around his face and pulled up the hood of his ragged coat. "Make this one count, people. If she gets a whiff I'm here..."

The other three swiveled towards him as one. "She?" Wash asked.

Mal turned away. "Can we just pretend that I'm the Captain and that my word on this ship is law?" he muttered as he stomped away with an exaggerated hobble.

Zoe grinned. "I thought we were pretending  _I_  was the Captain!"


End file.
